So I did. Sounds like a sweet gig. I think I’ll probably get it. Here’s my request for employment:
Dear Mr. & Mrs. Reynolds,
First of all, let me thank you and congratulate you for what you’ve done with aluminum foil over the years. Truthfully, I didn’t know what aluminum foil was for many years, in our house the only moniker ever used was “Reynolds Wrap”. My mother would never even consider using one of those off-brand foils, consequently, neither do I! I’m really liking the “PITMASTER’S CHOICE”, it’s foil perfection, in my opinion, and perfect for my meat smoking dream dishes.
WARNING: It’s gonna take me a few more than 100 words(but less than 500) to tell you why I’m the perfect candidate for the position of Chief Grilling Officer with your fine Organization, but trust me, I’ll use the same literary gifts in describing the Grilling and BBQ adventures that await us across this wonderful land.
First of all, I’m a ‘meat’ guy. My 82yr old Dad is a butcher, and I started cutting meat when I was about 8yrs old. I grew up behind an old-fashioned service meat counter. I won awards in High School on the Meat Judging Team. I can identify any cut of meat you put in front of me, some with my eyes closed and only feeling the bone. I know meat, which, by the way, is the most critical component of good grilling and BBQ (the Reynolds Wrap is a close second).
Secondly, I grew up in Texas. I have eaten meat grilled over every kind of wood you can imagine – Mesquite, Hickory, Apple, Pecan, you name it! I’ve also been privileged to dine at probably every renowned BBQ joint in the State of Texas and lots of others around the country as well (my job requires significant travel, and I like grilled meat).
Third, I have the unique ability to describe experiences in a way that people find really entertaining. I’m thinking as the CGO of Reynolds Wrap, it might be fun to take a “play by play” approach in describing how a piece of meat goes from hoof to grill to table.
And lastly, let’s be honest, I need the money. Wife says my grilling habit has gotten out of hand, and maybe I should stop spending our retirement savings trying new smoking recipes and then giving the meat away to the neighbors. She says if I can land this gig, I don’t have to go to Smoker’s Anonymous. So please, help a brother out, please!
Seriously, I’m your guy. Delete the rest of the entries, your job is done, I’m waiting for your call, but let it ring a few times, I may be outside at the grill.
Tracy S. Ebarb (325)320-1377 email@example.com
Yeah, pretty sure I’ve got this think Reynolds Wrapped up! And by the way, it’s a real job. I’ve already gotten an initial response from the Reynolds Wrap people, they said they’d be in touch. Pretty sure I’m their guy…